Monday, August 29, 2011

On Mothering...

Isn't it true that we really never know what something is like until we have been there? Today, I am especially referring to having and raising children. Everyone told me what it would be like to have kids, but I never really understood until I HAD kids. People told me that my kids would misbehave, but I never really believed them until...THEY DID. When I taught Kindergarten, I couldn't believe the things other people's kids would do.  I would train my kids to be MUCH better.  And guess what...they did those same things.  People told me to "just wait until I had teenagers" when I complained about my toddlers. How hard could teenagers really be anyway? I get it now! :)  But no matter what stages my kids have gone through, there are two things that I now understand, 1)Never say never ,(and I'm not referring to Justin Beiber), and  2) No matter what happens, the love that I felt for them when I first held them in my arms will never change.  I will always love them unconditionally.

Today I want to step out of my normal "kid posts" and talk about my sister.  A blog entry that she posted a few days ago was very touching for me.  Amidst the tears shed while reading it, it really rang true in my own life on so many levels, so I wanted to share it with you.  It was beautifully written, and I hope she doesn't mind that I do...

But first, a little background...My sister, Melanie, is about 4 years younger than me. She married around 20 years old and was married to the same man for about 10 years. Her first husband was a musician and that was his passion. He played in local gigs around the country hoping to make it big, but things never really materialized. Unfortunatley, this left her home alone a lot. She was often lonely.

Before her marriage, she had started out small working for a well-known company and progressed with each promotion moving locations each time into higher and better positions. Because she spent so much time at work and was always moving, she often didn't have a close friend network.  Once again, this made her long for closer relationships. 

So, of course, the question often came up about children.  She had never really liked kids or babies, and early on, she said she didn't want to have any children. As time passed, she decided that she would like to have a child or two, but she didn't want a baby.  I think she felt that if she had a baby, she and her husband wouldn't have the time necessary to give a baby all that they needed.  In addition, she just didn't feel comfortable around babies.  She looked into adopting a child possibly 3 or older. They began taking the steps to make that happen.  They were almost able to adopt two kids at one point, and things fell through.  Then, a little later, they had the option of adopting a baby, but she was looking for an older child.  I even offered to care for the baby the first year or two for her until the baby was old enough that she could care for it.  On second thought though, I talked with Eric and he wasn't in agreement with this situation.  Eric said, "We will not want to give the baby up after the allotted time".  I know that he would have been exactly right.  Nevertheless, this option didn't work out either.

Anyway, less than 2 years ago, she and her first husband divorced.  Not long after, she meant a wonderful man and they decided to get married.  They married last July, and she recently gave birth to twin girls.  Her girls are about 7 week old now, and this post she wrote is just SO beautiful:

http://whatwhywhereandwhen.blogspot.com/2011/08/i-did-not-understand.html

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