Yesterday, a whole big group of teenagers from church wanted to go trick or treating together. Alex wanted to go too. After we verified who he was going with and where, Eric and I told him he could go but not trick or treat. (Afterall he hasn't trick or treated since he was 13 and he turns 16 next week. Besides, he didn't even have a costume.) When his friend's mom came to pick him up, I went out to talk to her to make sure of the plan. She said, "There is a whole big group of kids from church going trick or treating and Alex is the ONLY one not allowed to trick or treat." Then, I really felt like we were the mean parents. I kind of caved and said, "Well, I don't really care if he collects candy I guess, but he doesn't even have a costume". I was so mad! One that I kind of caved under pressure and second, that no other parents seemed to feel the same way that I did about this. This particular parent seems to be much more lenient with her kids than we are on many levels, but I felt that if all the other parents felt fine with it, maybe it was my problem. Maybe we were the mean ones?
I don't want to be the mean parent, and I really do want him to go out and have a good time with his friends, I just didn't think it should have been trick or treating that they did. I mean, they are all in high school. I have heard many people say that they do not like teenagers trick or treating at their houses. One person said, "If you are taller than the person who answers the door, you should be done." Alex is probably 5'10" or 5'11" now, so definitely taller than many answering the door. I don't mind if they all get together to do something else. In fact, I told him they could all come to our house and eat and hang out. We had tons of food prepared.
As it turned out, one of our sweet friends pitied poor Alex when he showed up to trick or treat at her house (costumeless and bagless), and she said, "This will not do." So she gave him a costume and a pillowcase to collect candy! I guess I was grateful that she gave him something because I am sure he stuck out like a sore thumb and felt like an idiot walking with the trick or treaters but not trick or treating. I didn't want him to feel like a misfit either, so I am glad he ended up having a good time even though I still really don't think high schoolers should be trick or treating. Maybe I am wrong. I will rethink this for next year. Give me your opinions on teenagers trick or treating.
8 comments:
Well, if you're wrong, you're not alone because I'm right there with you. Trick or treating is for children--not teenagers and definitely not adults. I applaud your instincts. Once our kids went into the youth program at church, they were done with Santa, the Easter Bunny, and trick or treating.
We weren't allowed to trick or treat after 12 in my family either. I wasn't too excited about dressing up everyyear, so i didn't mind too much. My personal opinion is that when you are old enough to have a job and make money then you can buy your own candy. A party would probably be a better activity for an older age group anyways. How would they feel if some little kid didn't get any candy if the teen and their friends whipped the houses clean? I agree with you, I think society is becoming a little more lax on stuff like that.
I agree with you that teenagers should not trick or treat. Gabby didn't go this year, but Corey went with a friend and her younger sibling. Afterward she said she felt guilty for taking the candy from little kids. I doubt she will go again next year. I think trick or treating should be strickly for little kids.
i guess i'm in the minority here. i've heard so many people say that their kids have stopped trick or treating at what seems a young age to me. i think this could be one of those things that are different from child to child. many young teens are still very innocent. i can remember trick or treating until i was 16, maybe even 17. that being said, i was probably more of a sheltered child and still dressed up and enjoyed it. we didn't go out in huge groups of friends though, just siblings and maybe a friend or 2. i don't think you are mean or one way is right or wrong. i just think it can vary from person to person. society is rushing kids to grow up so quickly in so many aspects, i guess i don't mind if the big kids want to dress up and be child like a bit longer. that being said, i don't approve of the ones who don't dress up...they are missing the point. i don't know what we'll do when ours get older, but i know i'm saving my battles for the 'no sleep over' rule that's already in place. ;) good luck for next year!
Laura, you aren't alone. I agree with you. I have no problem with anyone under 18 years old, dressed in costume coming to our door trick or treating, as long as they are polite about it . Kids are growing up too fast. Let them have fun.
I get irritated when a group of teenagers come trick-or-treating to my house. Many of them go around the neighborhood as fast as they can trying to get as much candy as they can. That being said, I don't mind if a teenager comes with their younger siblings. It seems like they are helping out more in that instance. But groups of teenagers running through the neighborhood is irritating. I think they definitely should have a party or games with friends rather than trick-or-treating.
Well me and Cindy both went trick or treating when we were 16 I think it was the last time we both went. I probably would have gone again later in life but don't think I had anyone to go with. So now what I like to do is go to small party's and dress up. I like pretending to be someone else once a year and growing my beard out it is really fun in my opinion. so my vote is that teenagers are fine going out and trick or treating and adults if they are dressed up with there kids, but that is probably my vote since that is what I will be doing =D "Joel"
I say as long as they are not rude it is okay as well. :) Alex is such a good kid and it sounds like he has great friends-so I'm sure they were polite. I talk to Danika all of the time asking for parenting advice since she has older kids...We often talk about "choosing battles"...that being said, i don't have any teens yet my opinion doesn't count for much. :)
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