Tessa's Dream

Last night, Tessa came into my room in the middle of the night, and said that she had a scary and sad dream. I asked her what happened. She said she dreamed that she went outside and it was hailing. When the hail touched her, she dissolved into a puddle. Then, she went to heaven.

I said, "You dissolved?"

She said, "Yes" and kind of giggled.

Then she said, "Does it hurt to die?"

I said, "A lot of times something painful causes you to die, but I don't think dissolving would hurt. " I smiled.

She smiled back, but then in a serious tone she said, "I don't want to die."

I said, "I don't want to die either, and I especially don't want you to die."

I continued to tell her not to worry about it, that I was sure she would live a good long life. She was contented and went back to bed.

As I lay there pondering before I went back to sleep, I remembered as a kid being very afraid of dying. I still am in some ways I guess, but the thing that scares me now if I were to die, is not being able to raise my own kids. I want to be there for them as long as I can. But if I had the choice, I would die in a heartbeat before seeing one of my children or my husband die. Life is too fragile. Things like this remind me how much I need to cherish each day.